Where was I?
Oh yes. Part I of my pole dancing fitness review left me contemplating the necessity of wearing ultra-short shorts to my first class.
Ultimately, I decided that any moves requiring thigh-gripping technique would be well beyond my skill level. I arrived to class wearing yoga pants, a fitness tee and a sheepish look on my face.
I also had stashed a pair of heels in my bag, just in case. But soon after entering the studio I heard a woman say, “I only allow the stripper shoes that I sell here to be worn on the floor. Otherwise, you dance barefoot.”
That’s when I saw the shoes for sale and Lady Katherine herself.
First, the shoes. Seasoned students and beginners alike can purchase ultra-high platform heels for $55 right at the studio. They look a lot like these (pictured on the Lady Katherine brochure):
Wow. I’m good in heels, but those are heels.
Second, Lady Katherine. I have no idea how old she is, but she looks AMAZING. She was hands-down the fittest person in the studio that night. You can check out her website if you want to know more about her. (She kicked off the class by telling us that she started pole dancing after getting laid off from her job at a church!)
My sister breezed in just barely before class started. (So like her.) By the time she arrived, I had already grabbed towels and mats for both of us. (So like me.)
We took our places at poles in the back corner of the room. Then lady Katherine walked in and said, “Alright ladies, we’re locked in.” (Apparently to keep out voyeurs.)
Then she asked, “Do we have bottles of alcohol that we’re passing around?”
Heidi and I immediately perked up. This was getting good!
Then we realized that she meant bottles of rubbing alcohol to spritz on our poles to keep them clean and dry.
What was the first thing Lady Katherine had to do in class? Headstands. HEADSTANDS!
Even more shocking is that all of us could do it. My sister even snapped a picture of me doing it.
(No doubt it would have looked a whole lot sexier had I been wearing wearing “stripper shoes,” biker shorts and a smile.)
I’m convinced that Lady Katherine starts with headstands because no one thinks they can do a headstand. Then you do one and assume you can do anything… which of course you can’t. But still, you’re stoked!
After the headstand, we learned basic pole spins and dance steps. All the while, we enjoyed instructions like these:
“Ladies, I want you to stroke your poles. That’s it. Stroke your poles.”
“Okay, now your left hand is doing something pretty. Do something pretty.”
“Now wash your hair. That’s right, wash your hair.”
“Whatever you’re doing right now is beautiful!”
That last one had me laughing hard after a particularly unfortunate spin. I’m pretty sure that banging my shin on the pole and rolling my ankle was not beautiful, but I appreciated her enthusiasm and support.
My overall impression is that pole dancing is a fun and challenging workout. I ended up with sore muscles and several bruises on my shins. (Ouch!) When we go again, I’m going to try some Mighty Grip on my hands. If your hands are even slightly sweaty, you slide right off the pole.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering about what we learned specifically, it looked almost exactly like this: