Imagine my surprise and delight when the following subject line graced my inbox:
A Groupon Gift for You
For me? Wow! What could it be? A pedicure? A massage? A VACATION?
When I opened the message and discovered the nature of my gift, my reaction went something like this:
Oh…
Wait.
What?
No!
WHY?!
You see, my Groupon gift — given so generously by my sister — was good for a session of eight pole dancing fitness classes at a place called Lady Katherine.
POLE DANCING fitness classes!
Let me back up.
Growing up, my sister and I were only one grade apart in school. And it was a small school in a small town. Carving out unique identities required that we choose divergent paths. I was on the debate team. She was on the volleyball team. She threw wild parties. I organized study sessions for my humanities class. I had a small group of close friends. She was a social butterfly.
I tell you this because it explains why I might see a Groupon deal for pole dancing fitness classes and think, “I wonder who does that?”
She, on the other hand, saw such an offer and thought, “I am doing this! And I’m making my sister do it, too!”
So that’s exactly what happened. The free-spirited sister gave the analytical sister the “gift” of pole dancing fitness classes.
Knowing I couldn’t get out of it, I had just one question.
Me: What am I supposed to wear?
Sister: The lady on the phone said yoga pants, but maybe with shorts underneath.
Me: How do you wear shorts under yoga pants?
Sister: Like really short biker shorts. She said the yoga pants are good for moves where you want to slide, but sometimes you want to grip.
Me: Grip? With my thighs?!
I quickly realized that I had asked a stupid question.
This was pole dancing fitness! How could I expect anything less than a hip-gyrating, booty-slapping, thigh-gripping good time?
To be continued…
Me and my sister.
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